Feel the peace in here

Monday, July 27, 2009

Thought everything is wonderful for me now
but nothing can be wonderful and perfect
things will change and happen

Dreams sometime do come true
and is those bad dreams that come true
is happen to me like two time...
FIRST is about my ex.
and now is the upcoming want..
just really hope it may not come true

Been b????? many time
just dont know why??
am i so great to be b?????
am i?

what did i done actually?
why is like every g?y doing this to me
i just dont get it
making me to accept it already
then leave like that
why??

should i wait??
or leave...
but is a promise not too..

But i dont know to HIM??
watever answer i just have to accept it..

Just have to...

MR.PATIENT
why??why??

=Janice signing off=
in a silent

the Romeo&the beauty.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Had finally when clubbing..
when clubbing with my BRO and his frenz..

was totally wild..
wild in drinking..
wild in dancing..

My BRO was quite shock seeing me like that..
trying to relax and dont think sooo much..

NO MESSAGE AND NO CALL..
wondering what happen to u..
wondering why no reply from u..
trying to be understanding..
had make myself to understand it..
but my understand had gone to the limit...
what happen to me..
i really dont know..
use to be very understanding..
but now i m not..
could be after the bad dream i had..
i just dont know how??
My dear..

sharing this to my GF..
she also shock..
what happen to me..
use to be soo understanding..
but now..

i just dont know what happen to me now..
just feeling something is lost..
maybe i m too tired need a break for a hoilday..
need a place to rest my mind..
cause could be thinking too much..

Mr.PATIENT
i m feeling lost
LOST

=Janice signing off=

the Romeo&the beauty.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Having Fights is normal..

yesterday was not a great day..
things happen in many ways...

First: walking from a end of orchard to another end without talking
Second: not a words we talk
Third: sit @ a mall with silents,looking at nothing
Fourth: walk behind HIM alone
Fifth: walk way far away from HIM
sixth: was left behind in a big mall..alone.......
seventh: No where to find HIM

end up sitting alone at the mall
unable to find HIM..
keep quiet to myself..
eyes just turn red..
feeling soo empty and lost...
gonna leave me behind alone..
thinking what had happen..
the first time got leave behind in a mall alone..
sooo scary..

realise is my fault tooo..
making HIM mad and got piss off...

things get better when the day is going to end...
thing seem to be settle..
but the feeling of being alone in the mall is soo scary..

*my deardear dont do that to me anymore..
is soo scary..
and i just feel so empty and lost..
PROMISE me no more...*

=Janice signing off=

the Romeo&the beauty.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Lately have been busy in working..
6 days straight working..
sooo freaking tired..

and my REST DAY and OFF DAY is coming...

ysterday..one of my patient had gone..
she had waiting for LUNGS transplant for 13 years..
and she did not get it..
cause due to multiple infection...
had living with 100% oxygen for 13 years..
and finally her day had come..
she had been staying strong for 13 years..
and now she cant already..
seeing her family member and her two sons shaking her to wake up..
just make my tears drop...
sooo freaking sad...
before she gone she actually called me and thank me for serving her those few months..
and i did drop my tears..
is like sooo freaking sad..
i done LAST OFFICE for her..
and hope she can go peacefully...

seeing her lets me remind my GRAND-FATHER..
when i m young...
my GRAND-FATHER gone just like that..
never wait for me..
and when i see him..he is lying in a wooden box..
and i remember i cry and knocking at the glass..
to call my GRAND-FATHER wake up..

i just MISS my GRAND-FATHER...
miss him teaching me..
miss him feeding me to eat my meals..
miss sitting at his leg..
miss him exercising with me in the middle of the NITE...
miss playing with him catching..
miss him...
how wish he is still with me..
and i can tell and show him
in our family..
I m the first person who became a nurse..
and make him proud...
just misss him sooo much..
what is gone is gone...

MR.PATIENT
miss u sooo much

=Janice signing off=

the Romeo&the beauty.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Lazy to spilt out the story..
and dont want to talk about it too...

Just something simple...

''HOPE'' is a very disappointed words...
''HOPE'' is hurtful words
''HOPE'' will only make people feel very unhappy
if ''HOPE'' can be replace by other words it will be sooo wonderful...

i HATE the words ''HOPE"
just make me dissapointed many time...

Today i m morning shift..
and is so shock that 11 staff is working...
so was like quite relax...

I was like rushing to do things..
we target job must be done before 10am...
the ward is full of people...
and doctors...

mee..
busy rushing doing my job finish..
didnt realise that my trolley is join with another trolley..
and i push..
end up hurting myself..
a loud BANK...
and everyone is seeing me...
i m sooo shy lah..
but in another part..i m in PAIN...

my leg was injured..
now i having walking problem...
Gosh...big bum appear...
i m crying in pain...walking in problem now...

I m abit upset
MR.PATIENT

=Janice signing off=

the Romeo&the beauty.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Today is a BEST and WONDERFUL day of my life..
went out wif my MR.PATIENT..
and i know he is sick as he denied.

we went to celebrate our anniversary..
is a late celebration..

we went to take flyers...
is like so wonderful..
we had a great time..
My first time taking flyers..and is with my love..
soooo happy...

After that we head down to town..
for a walk..
then after that we went to had our dinner..

Time passes very fast..
Although is a short day..
but is enough for me already..
seeing him smiling and seeing him is my joy already...

Having every single minutes with him is my joy..
although i know he have not much time with me..
but i know he is there for me no matter what..

Just sooo happy 2day...
and i bet something with him and i lose...
HOW could it BE...
is okie next time i will bet with him something that i more confident...

*Deardear thanks..
thanks for making a wonderful celebration 2day
i love it..
and i did enjoy..
sorrie about the ysterday incident...
i didnt mean it.
i m truly soooorrrieee...
and i know i own u 100 ki??es...
Gosh.. next time will be ur turn...*

PICTURES will be updating soon...

Thanks for being in my life
just love u sooo much

=Janice signing off=

the Romeo&the beauty.

This song ''you are not alone''
is my childhood song...
love it..
And this song is to MY LOVE-Mr.PATIENT

'' You are not alone''
Another day has gone
I'm still all alone
How could this be
You're not here with me
You never said goodbye
Someone tell me why
Did you have to go
And leave my world so cold

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone

All alone
Why, oh

Just the other night
I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come
And hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers
Your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand
So forever can begin

Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away
Then something whispers in my ear and says
That you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
And you are not alone

Whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
And girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there

You are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

You are not alone
For I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay
For you are not alone
For I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart

For you are not alone

the Romeo&the beauty.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Soo freaking unhappy 2day..
first:my ROSTER
second:????

Just soo freaking unhappy my ROSTER..
just finish my NITE..
have not rest even one day..
This comin monday NITE again..
CRAZY MAN...
SO FREAKING ANGRY..

approach my SISTA..
and ask her why i NITE again..
their reply is ''oh..sorrie wrong plan''
WAT THE F??k..
so freaking angry lah...

hope they are changing it...
cause even i requested off and rest day..
they didnt even give me..
freak man...
pointed out to my SISTA..
hope they change it...

just sooo piss off..after seeing the ROSTER...

really forcing me to take annual leave man..
i m going to take..
Gosh..just soooooo sooo PISS OFF

=Janice signing off=

the Romeo&the beauty.

Wednesday, July 08, 2009

Just love HIM so much

The joy of us

The times and the minutes we have...

Pictures in NDP...2009

The freedom of me...
the fun that all i had...
just being myself

The logo of this year...
so cute...

This year design of the stage..
is cool..
when is at nite...

The rockchic that company me...

LOOK...
two freedom birds...
get wild...

PRETTY WOMAN ROCKING DOWN THE STREET

JUST ENJOY SO MUCH WITH HER-MY GF

otw down to marina bay for NDP...

THE OTHER GF of mine...
happen to saw her..

MY GF-ijah and ME

PICTURES of those plans that i had...
FULL OF FUN..
FULL OF LOVE..
FULL OF JOY

the Romeo&the beauty.

On nite again...

so freaking fast lah..

just finish nite and here again..

but this time MR.PATIENT on the other side also on Nite shift..

haha..

both of us are in nite work...

My nite is alright..

the on-call doctor for 2onlo is that DOCTOR lah..

Gosh..him again..going to hoo-lala with that doctor...

opps...*Mr.PATIENT just joking only..haha*

But is going to be fun lah..

staff and doctor is fun gangs lah..

MR.PATIENT

2 more days

=Janice signing off=

the Romeo&the beauty.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Pussycat dolls=Hush Hush=
Just love this song
*Is for the person..
just to tell u get out of my life..
is enough..
enough of hurting..i dont want to recall or remember anything
and to tell u that u have no rights to correct me anything
or point out my wrongs as u are the one who create it and to tell u
u hav nt know me enough..
onces my decision is make is make is final*

Oooohh Yeah Oh Oh Oh

I never needed you to be strong,
I never needed you for pointing out my wrongs,
I never needed pain,
I never needed strain,
My love for you was strong enough you should have known,
I never needed you for judgments,
I never needed you to question what I spend,
I never asked for help,
I take care of myself,
I don't know why you think you've got a hold on me

And it's a little late for conversations,
There isn't anything for you to say,
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver,
So look at me, and listen to me..

(Because)
I don't want to stay another minute,
I don't want you to say a single word,
(Hush, hush, hush, hush)
There is no other way, I get the final say,
Because..
I don't want to do this any longer,
I don't want you, there's nothing left to say,
(Hush, hush, hush, hush)
I've already spoken, our love is broken,
Baby, hush, hush.

I never needed your corrections,
On everything, from how I act, to what I say,
I never needed words,
I never needed hurts,
I never needed you to be there every day,
I'm sorry for the way I let go,
Or everything I won't need when you came along,
But I am never beaten, broken, not defeated,
I know that next to you is not where I belong,

And it's a little late for explanations,
There isn't anything that you can do,
And my eyes hurt, hands shiver,
So you will listen when I say..

I don't want to stay another minute,
I don't want you to say a single word,
(Hush, hush, hush, hush)
There is no other way, I get the final say,
Because..
I don't want to do this any longer,
I don't want you, there's nothing left to say,
(Hush, hush, hush, hush)
I've already spoken, our love is broken,
Baby, hush, hush.

No more words, no more lies, no more cryin',
Hmm Hmmmm
No more pain, no more hurt, no more tryin',
Ohh Ohh
Yeahhhhh!

(Because)
I don't want to stay another minute,
I don't want you to say a single word,
(Hush, hush, hush, hush)
There is no other way, I get the final say,
Because..
I don't want to do this any longer,
I don't want you, there's nothing left to say,
(Hush, hush, hush, hush)
I've already spoken, our love is broken,
Baby, hush, hush.

Yeahhhh Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh
(Hush, hush, hush, hush)
I've already spoken, our love is broken,
Baby..

the Romeo&the beauty.

IN A REFLECTION

HAVING A DINNER...
sweet of him spenting time with me..
and is raining outside..
the feeling of us in overseas...

the Romeo&the beauty.

Chill @ the doctors room

Doctor got caught hiding here

Doctor chilling with us

TALKING...

OPPS...caught me..

SMILE.. nurses and doctor

Opps..caught in action..

PICTURES OF LIFE IN DOCTOR ROOM..

the Romeo&the beauty.

Monday, July 06, 2009

Lately have been busy in working and life...
been busy in working like non-stop..
finally my off day again..
and down to NITE...

Have been full of plan..
plan of wonderful times...

recently sat i went to NDP...
Gosh..is soooo freaking nice lah...
better than last year..
and the BAG is soooo freaking style and nice...

THANKS MY MR.PATIENT who GRANT MY WISHES...
although is just a NE show...
but i and my GF enjoy it...
and is freaking shock..
we meet alot of mentor..
and they remember us..
we will so crazy with them lah..
and some of the ex-motivator...
is like soooo enjoy..
like going back to the old time...
just sooo freaking happy...

recently plan was like

shopping
enjoying food
NDP show
Dating with MR.PATIENT
meet my old fren IJAH
taking crazy photo with my GF
chill in the rain with MR.PATIENT

is like a great plan of outing..

*thanks deardear..for granting my wish..
i did enjoy with my GF in ndp..
seeing u marching..
u look damn charming in that uni..
i m so proud of u..
and thanks for ur trust..i m so touch by ur trust..
i m sooo shock u did remember our first date and our anni...
four more days...
and looking forward for the outing this sun...
with the dress that u choose for me..*

Pictures will update soon...
be patient for those wonderful pictures...

Mr.PATIENT
four more days
thanks for ur trust

=Janice signing off=

the Romeo&the beauty.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Having my rest day...
went shopping crazy with my GF @ MANGO..
the sale was crazy lah...
I bought four set of clothes..
we will so enjoy shopping and totally forget about our dinner...

Aim for a dress quiet long already..
and it turn out to have many colours..
and dont know how to decide??
wait for MR.PATIENT to choose for me..

Just miss those days of shopping freely...
and i did feel it again ysterday...

*PICS will upload soon*

TAKE MY ADVICE GF:

I have been like u too.
beileve in guys sweet talk..
end up i got hurt and hurt again..
like him u know who..
but what to do this is guys..

and u should know this is not the first time
a guy sweet talk to u already..
sometime u just have to feel it
whether is he true to u..
As for JOLIE..
i just can say nothing..
why he suddenly dont message and call you??
is a BIG question u know..
keep making a reason to it..
does not settle anything..

I know is hard to find out whether he can be trusted..
so dont put fully hope on him first..
as i say he plays with it just go by the flow loh..
dont fall into his trap..

and i dont wish to see u get hurt again..
choose the correct decision GF..
or u will regard...

LIKE me....
choose a wrong person last time..
didnt take the advice of NIZAM..
end up got hurt and bluff by him..
and i trusted him so so way much..
now i regard..

GF choose and think twice..
let it be if he feel sad..
let him know that he is now not making
u to trust him...

Thats my advice....

MR.PATIENT
missing u here

=Janice signing off=

the Romeo&the beauty.